Just in case I forget the meaning of life, or if 42 is not an adequate answer.

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved. - Kurt Vonnegut

When did Christmas gift giving go awry?

   Ok, so probably a really long time ago. But the stress!!! And I'm not talking about the stress over what you're going to get other people, since that's a whole abyss of problems, but the dreaded "What do you want for Christmas?" quandary. The pressure to think up something that you want, but something that's appropriately available, priced, and non-personal enough that someone else can get it for you. Now, I'm treading a fine line here on sounding ungrateful, and let me assure you, that's not my sentiment. I appreciate gifts, I so do. Charles and I were gifted with many wonderful things by generous friends pre-during-and post wedding, and I tremendously appreciate the though, monetary value and time that people put into them, including an antique platter with someone else's anniversary inscription and date on it. People who decided to gift us money, also, equally grateful. There's many things that we will be able to do with that money, and hey, you can never go wrong with money.

    But when people decide they don't want to give you money, they wish to purchase a gift, only they don't want to be responsible for making the decision on what to buy, that's the crux. So the responsibility is transferred back to you. In a simple and relatively benign comment, like: "What do you want for Christmas? I want to get you something, but you pick it".

   So then we have the dilemma: do we answer honestly, and let the asker know that you genuinely have your eye on a 300$ mixer, that you've planned to set aside your spare change and can money for months until you have enough saved up to splurge and treat yourself to the overpriced but good quality appliance (not likely)? Or do you try and wrack your brains, estimate how much that person might be willing to spend on you for the appropriate holiday, what they might be willing to go and get, whether the sales person would scare them or if their drive might be too far out of their way, or is it appropriate for them to give you as a gift at all, and what did you tell Aunt Betty that she could get you just last week, can't tell them the same thing!!!!

   My philosophy was to put it back on the giver, gently, but in a firm manner that puts the decision back into their hands with some inspiration. "Well, you have wonder taste/ a beautifully decorated home/ are so fashionably awesome please think of something that you might like yourself/in your home, and I'm sure it would be a unique treat for us to have." Cause that's how you develop eclectic, and eclectic is lovely.

   But in the case of some, this method of letting them know you have faith in their choice doesn't catch, and they just insistently go on till you break down, frustrated, and they demand you tell them exactly what to buy, and you tell them about the 300$ mixer  you've had your eye on.......and then they scoff, and say..

"...Well, I'll just give you money toward that I guess........"

So I did done gone got married....

And it went pretty well, all things considered, there was no bloodshed after all!

I should blog. I really should. Maybe sometime. Once the dust settles and I'm feeling the capability of writing things down. Perhaps a return to the somewhat witty musings I tried to convey before.

As long as it's real

Yes, it's Saturday night, and I'm sitting in surfing and listening to music because I'm a loser and I don't want to risk spending money. I even did laundry. I watched Garden State this morning, at my roommates' repeated and unrelenting demand. It's a good watch, if anyone else out there feels like they're going through a quarter life crisis. Apparently that's now almost as recognized as a midlife crisis, however, when you're in your mid 20's apparently you're not nearly as significant, and therefore, no one really cares. I think the main gist of it is we've spent the past 10-15 years cramming and getting ready for life, and when it hits, we're totally lost and don't really know what to do, other than bury our heads in the sand, or the closest distraction to it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm more than ready to stop going to school, start working so I can get out of the stifling debt I've placed upon myself, and start living my life. Not dreading certain times of the year because tests are coming and term papers are due, that would be nice. I apparently perform quite well under stress, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it. I'd like to squeeze some time in there for enjoyment of life. And not feel guilty about it.

Had a discussion with random stranger #256 at a party last night, and I made the conclusion that I keep putting my life on hold for things. Sometimes they're important things, necessary things that need to be accomplished in order to continue, or at least I think they are. For instance, my whole year up here in NFL. Oh sure, I'm learning lots, but it's just another pause on the way to wherever it is I'm going. I failed in finding myself satisfying and sustaining work in the real world, and found myself wasting time in a few inappropriate and dead end jobs after I graduated. Then random stranger pointed out that really, it's the journey that's what counts, it's the path you choose to get you there that matters. Yes, of course, good point. But what if you aren't really enjoying the journey, or when you take the time to enjoy it, you fall behind? That thought kind of got me down, because lately, the journey hasn't really been that mind expanding, nor have I been getting a great kick out of it.

I know that while I've been here I've tried really hard not to put down any sort of roots. I don't want to invest myself in this place as a long term thing. I've met lovely people, and I'm happy that I've made friends and acquaintances that will stick with me for the rest of my life, or at least I'll stick with them. Attachments to the place itself though, I've steered clear. I've just missed all my attachments back home. That's pretty bleak when you think of it. I built up a picture wall above my bed, with my favorite pictures from home, and things I've done with friends. I suppose those are my roots here, however shallow the scotch tape lets them spread. I'm not sure what's going to happen next, but I'd really like for the ride to get a lot more enjoyable, and hopefully more exciting.

We're back, the term has started anew

and they're trying to screw me already. Well, housing is, but I've just sent a carefully worded letter of complaint, which will hopefully be received, considered, determined to be right, problem corrected, and all to be well with the world again. Hopefully. I'll keep ya posted. In the meantime, I found a good dollar store, and loaded up on bagfulls of school and apartment stuff for the low low price of 9.98. I love you dollaramma. You're a savior in a quagmire of money grabbers, and are to be commended. Such simple things can make me happy. That, and little quacking ducks milling about my feet, all excited that the snow has melted and they can eat the grass again.

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas, or whatever you might celebrate, wherever you are!