When did Christmas gift giving go awry?

   Ok, so probably a really long time ago. But the stress!!! And I'm not talking about the stress over what you're going to get other people, since that's a whole abyss of problems, but the dreaded "What do you want for Christmas?" quandary. The pressure to think up something that you want, but something that's appropriately available, priced, and non-personal enough that someone else can get it for you. Now, I'm treading a fine line here on sounding ungrateful, and let me assure you, that's not my sentiment. I appreciate gifts, I so do. Charles and I were gifted with many wonderful things by generous friends pre-during-and post wedding, and I tremendously appreciate the though, monetary value and time that people put into them, including an antique platter with someone else's anniversary inscription and date on it. People who decided to gift us money, also, equally grateful. There's many things that we will be able to do with that money, and hey, you can never go wrong with money.

    But when people decide they don't want to give you money, they wish to purchase a gift, only they don't want to be responsible for making the decision on what to buy, that's the crux. So the responsibility is transferred back to you. In a simple and relatively benign comment, like: "What do you want for Christmas? I want to get you something, but you pick it".

   So then we have the dilemma: do we answer honestly, and let the asker know that you genuinely have your eye on a 300$ mixer, that you've planned to set aside your spare change and can money for months until you have enough saved up to splurge and treat yourself to the overpriced but good quality appliance (not likely)? Or do you try and wrack your brains, estimate how much that person might be willing to spend on you for the appropriate holiday, what they might be willing to go and get, whether the sales person would scare them or if their drive might be too far out of their way, or is it appropriate for them to give you as a gift at all, and what did you tell Aunt Betty that she could get you just last week, can't tell them the same thing!!!!

   My philosophy was to put it back on the giver, gently, but in a firm manner that puts the decision back into their hands with some inspiration. "Well, you have wonder taste/ a beautifully decorated home/ are so fashionably awesome please think of something that you might like yourself/in your home, and I'm sure it would be a unique treat for us to have." Cause that's how you develop eclectic, and eclectic is lovely.

   But in the case of some, this method of letting them know you have faith in their choice doesn't catch, and they just insistently go on till you break down, frustrated, and they demand you tell them exactly what to buy, and you tell them about the 300$ mixer  you've had your eye on.......and then they scoff, and say..

"...Well, I'll just give you money toward that I guess........"